Nobody’s Perfect

This blog post may be uncomfortable for some to write, because we are constantly taught as humans to “think on the bright side” or to “find the silver lining.” We are raised as an optimistic society which makes it hard to realize the flaws underneath all the glamour. However, ideas for this blog post came relatively easy to me, and that was my biggest flaw in itself. One of my biggest challenges is finding the positivity in life rather then dwelling on every single little flaw that I possess. On the outside I may come across as a relatively confident person to some, but in reality I overcompensate for my inability to move past my flaws by shielding myself in a veil of what some may call “confidence.”

One of the main ways my flaw manifests itself into my life every single day is the constant thought of “what does [insert person] think of me right now.” I constantly care about what others think of me which causes me to twist myself into someone I don’t want to be in order to conform to the normalities of a bunch of immature teenagers. The way I act, what I do, my personality are all shaped by the constant nagging thought in my brain that I cannot ignore. I envy those that are strong enough to separate themselves from the norms of society and to live as a true individual. But, my inability to have confidence in my true self extends much further than just school. It will forever consume my life past high school. What do I do to make my parents proud? How can I fulfill every single expectation that everyone has of me? These are all questions that may not ever be answered. My flaw shows that my life has been set in the direction of fulfilling what others expect of me rather than what I expect of myself.

My flaw of focusing on the negatives and conforming to the way that others want me to be can be seen clearly in how I act at debate tournaments. Debate is a huge part of my life as I practice after school three of the five days in a week and attend tournaments almost all weekends. However, the highly competitive atmosphere of high school debate has taken a toll in the way I act and think. Walking into a tournament, I usually already have the mindset that I’m unprepared and not as good as the other competitors even if this is not true. When I don’t see the results I want, I put myself down and when I do get the results I want, I tell myself I don’t deserve it.

The flaws I have today will continue to impact who I am, but they have also reminded me that to every negative side, there actually always exists “silver lining.” It is just up to us to either be complacent or to take up the courage to find it.

 

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One thought on “Nobody’s Perfect

  1. Hi Elizabeth!! first off I’d like to start by saying I’m similar in many of the flaws you listed out, ironically I started my blog post off the same way as you did by stating “ideas for this blog post came relatively easy to me, and that was my biggest flaw in itself” I can also understand your constant need to focus on the negatives rather than the positive side of things as I too am generally a pessimistic person (a flaw I’m currently working on abolishing if I can). You might have overheard me screaming “I wanna die” or “I probably failed” a couple million times in class so I bet you’re not surprised although I am quite taken back by one of your flaws. I always believed you had a confident, protective shield which I even envied but you brought to light the reality of your inner flaw of insecurity. I would tell you not to worry about it because everyone’s a little insecure but the better truth I want you to hear is that you, like everyone else, are human. Humans make mistakes because we learn best from them and just a bad result at one debate tournament does not mean you are worthless or talent less. Sometimes we strive and succeed but other times we’re frankly so tired that we either fail or give up. The most important thing to remember is to get back up. Also I’d like to advise you that the only person you should be pleasing is yourself. You wrote in your blog how you care deeply about what others think of you but I’m informing you that the way you think of yourself is more important than anything in this world. You must learn to accept your true self even if others don’t because trust me if you change yourself to fit other people’s mindset of a “perfect human” you will not recognize your own self in the end, and losing a part of yourself is the scariest thing possible. As for standing out as an individual, I must say even though I haven’t known you long, I have learned that you are a completely unique person in your own way. You always end up thinking in a completely different way compared to our other classmates and you always look deeper under the surface, refusing to settle for what’s handed to you. Before logging off I’d like to honestly remind you that you’re one of the most strongest, weirdest and funniest person I know. You’re also fairly outspoken on what you’re passionate about which is a trait I’ve grown to love about you!!! Thank you for being such a wild but supportive friend and keep on doing you!!!

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